My Cat is The Antichrist Page 5

I was ready to kick ass and take names. I was going to put Mattan in his place. I was going to make him tell me the secrets he was hiding. I was going to force it out of him why I ended up in Kentucky and where my twin was. I was—so confused. I expected Mattan to be waiting for me to yell at him and instead, he was sitting by a table spread with papers and my traitorous new cat sitting on his lap making sweet eyes and headbutting him.

  Mattan grinned at me like a snake. I’ve got no idea how he had me so fooled before as the kindly, middle-aged family lawyer before to get me here. And why was the fucking cat so in love with him?

  “I have all the paperwork to move everything in your name. I’ve handled everything with the bank. All it needs is your John Hancock, and everything is yours.”

  It was like a light switch went off, and Mattan was the kindly man I trusted enough to let him my living room when I was stark naked.

  “No! Stop that. I want the man who burst into my bedroom back. There are some things I want to say to him. Just because you can turn it off doesn’t mean there’s shit I need to get off my chest.”

  Benedict Arnold, the cat, was purring so loud, he could have been shaking the walls, and Mattan still looked like a harmless old man scratching under his chin.

  “Can I confess something I didn’t tell you on the plane, Tabitha? There are thirteen families, and we’ve all mixed at some point. Your father’s blood runs in my veins. My family married into the Lamb’s several decades ago. Anyway, finding out there’s a missing Lamb means there’s a missing Adler too. I found the flash drives and the reports. Your twin, Drake, he’s a part of my family too. I want to find him. Family is important to all of us.”

  My finely-honed bullshit radar didn’t seem to work with Mattan. I had no family. I had no idea if a lost family member could make someone react the way he did barging into my bedroom. Then, I remembered Lizzie.

  “That doesn’t explain the eye fuck you gave my friend on the plane.” It explained why he had no interest in my tits, but not why he made my friend uncomfortable. That was something I couldn’t let pass.

  “I apologize for how I treated your friend on the plane. It was unbecoming of a man my age to look at her like that. I was acting like Benjy, and he was on that plane as punishment. I apologize for bursting into your bedroom. The staff here will keep your family’s secrets to their graves. I was hoping you had found something or they’d shared something with you so we could bring Drake home too. I worry about the boy. I know where you ended up. He could be someplace worse.”

  That made sense, but there was still something telling me not to trust Mattan. “I heard you had a falling out with my parents. What happened?”

  “You know there’s some big myth surrounding the Rothledges and the Lambs getting together? The entire Adler family was against the marriage and was quite vocal against it. My family wasn’t the only one. There is an Adler who is an elder. She came up with a solution and told only your parents. It was the only way the elder council would sanction the marriage. I’m afraid it soured your parents against my entire family. Whatever was said to them, I don’t know. I would have probably been against it, but I was caught up in family feuds.”

  “Would the elders have done something to Drake? How do you know the condition for them marrying was that they never have children and that was why me and Drake were kept a secret? The elders did something to Drake, and that was why I was sent away.”

  It seemed so obvious, and I had no idea why Mattan hadn’t figured that out. Or why he brought me back here if I was going to be in danger from a bunch of toddler killing elders.

  “No, I talked to them before I made any move to bring you here. Whatever my relative told your parents, the rest of the elders weren’t aware, and she’s dead now. They want answers just as much as the rest of us. When things settle down a little, they want to meet you just to talk.”

  How to ask about Drake, the cat without sounding totally insane. Was there some sort of secret code language to ask something along the lines of hey, did a weird looking cat give you the computer password? Didn’t super-rich families like these throw you in an insane asylum so you wouldn’t embarrass them if you thought the cat was talking to you?

  “What can you tell me about the cat?” I asked.

  “He’s a peculiar, curious thing, isn’t he? With the falling out with the families, the Adlers weren’t invited to your family’s parties, but I’d hear stories later about their cat. No matter how ill-behaved he was at parties, your parents never put him in his room. He hated everyone who wasn’t a Rothledge or a Lamb and would attack if they tried to pet him or got too close. He must be able to sense my connection to the Lambs because he took to me right away. Why, is he attacking you?”

  “No, Lizzie has this theory that I’m a witch and he’s my familiar.”

  Mattan perked up way too much for my liking. “Why, are you able to communicate with him?”

  “No, but it feels like he’s trying. It’s like he’s been wanting me to go to this secret room in my parent’s bedroom.”

  ‘Well, it’s your bedroom now. Magical powers are not the silliest thing that has been suggested in our history. There have been tons of theories as to what was burned in the elder’s secret room in the Salem Witch Trials. Most of the families have cats or special pets, but your parents had to have done a lot of research for this particular cat. Your parents would have gotten their hands on one of the first Peterbalds, and they had him shipped from Russia.”

  “How did you know there was a secret room in the study and get into the computer?” I demanded. Lizzie saw the same thing I did, but I needed to know there wasn’t a slow carbon monoxide leak in the house or something and I just hallucinated the entire thing.

  “Well, most of us have secret rooms in the study. It’s sort of like an office for us. That was the first place I looked. As for the password, I hired someone to crack it for me. How did you get past the log in? I haven’t given you the password yet.”

  “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

  “Seeing as how this conversation started by you asking me about the cat, if he got you into the computer and he wants you to look at the room in the bedroom, you should listen to him. Maybe he is a familiar, maybe he’s something else, but he saw things in this house no one else saw and it sounds like he’s trying to show you. I know how insane this all sounds, but right now, the cat is the only lead we have,” Mattan said, shrugging.

  Drake let out this little warble like he totally agreed with Mattan and I was starting to doubt the sanity of everyone in this house. Especially me because as soon as Mattan left, I was going to try to see if there was anything else Drake might want to show me.

  “There’s a ton of paperwork to sign to get everything signed over to you. We’re going to need Lizzie down here because I thought ahead seeing how close the two of you were. Your parents have six cars, and I just thought you might want Lizzie to have one. I know you do everything together, but she might want to explore on her own and do might you.”

  “You’d really let me just give Lizzie a car? I don’t have to ask permission from these elders and sign away part of my soul?”

  Mattan chuckled. “This will be your house and the bank account is totally yours. If you wanted to keep all of the cars or sell them, that’s up to you. If you don’t want Lizzie to have a car, I can tear up the paperwork.”

  “Let me go wake her ass up. She should get to pick her new car. And both of us are going to have to learn to drive.”

  “It’s normally a father’s job to teach his daughter to drive, but I’d be happy to teach the both of you.”

  He was back to being the kindly middle-aged man again. He’d given me some good advice, and he made sure Lizzie got some of my good fortunes. He explained the falling out with my parents and given me the answers he had.

  I went to get Lizzie to pick a car, so we could start signing papers. Mattan still confused me. He never set off my bullshit radar, and it seemed l
ike he was telling me the truth about everything.

  So, why was there something about him that just screamed I shouldn’t trust him?

  Chapter 8

  We really should have been going to the secret room in my new bedroom. I already knew I didn’t want Mattan in there with us. Mattan said a few papers, but he wanted me to sign the equivalent of War and Peace. My hand hurt after signing so many documents. He had six documents for Lizzie’s potential new car, and we spent an hour in the garage trying to pick.

  Neither of us knew anything about cars because we never looked into them. What was the point in researching something you never thought you’d own? The cars in the garage looked expensive with custom paint jobs. I knew I wanted the sleek black one as soon as I laid eyes on it and hoped Lizzie didn’t pick that one.

  She walked around and had to sit in each one, but I already knew she was going to pick that custom pink classic car in the back. Mattan informed us it was a mustang and had a brand-new engine and air conditioning system. It belonged to my mother. I was happy for Lizzie and could picture her speeding through town in it with the top down once we learned to drive.

  I knew I needed to be getting to that secret room in my new bedroom, but signing all that paperwork and picking cars took all day. Jana had another huge elaborate dinner fixed for us. I knew she wanted to fatten Lizzie and me up and bit, but we weren’t thin just because we were dirt poor. We were both hot wired to run fast and had high metabolisms. When we did five-dollar pizza night, we both put a large away each.

  By the time we were done eating, signing papers, and picking cars, I didn’t want to explore that room just yet. Lizzie missed that entire conversation with Mattan, and I wanted to get her input. If I missed something, Lizzie always caught it. Jana sent us off to the master suite with a huge box of truffles. The chocolate here was so much better than a fun sized bag of M&Ms when I wanted chocolate.

  I ran my entire conversation with Mattan by Lizzie as we shoved chocolate in our face holes.

  “I don’t get it, Lizzie. When I first met him, I trusted him enough to let him in and hear him out. The more I get to know him, everything in me is screaming he’s up to something. I didn’t get any vibes he was lying to me, but maybe there’s something he’s leaving out.”

  “Well, that explains why he didn’t check out your rack. You’ve got amazing tits. I don’t know, Tabby. Normally, when you’re getting creeper vibes off someone, I get them too. I got them on the plane, but he apologized to me when we were alone looking at cars, and he seemed like he meant it. He hasn’t stared at me like that again. It seems like he’s trying to help. Maybe being in this house is activating your witchy powers— Drake, the sense you can’t trust Mattan.”

  “Right, but Drake loves Mattan. You should have seen the two of them on the couch. If I’m somehow a witch and Drake is my familiar, shouldn’t he be warning me about Mattan if something is off with him?”

  Speak of the devil. I must not have closed the door all the way because Drake came strolling in like he knew we were talking about him. He seemed to like Lizzie even if everything I knew about him was that he hated anyone who wasn’t family. He purred up a storm when she scratched his chin. It just sort of hit me. Drake accepted Lizzie because Lizzie was important to me.

  I needed to start listening to Drake because clearly, he was no ordinary cat. Mattan said I should listen to Drake, and I didn’t trust Mattan, but I’d always trusted my gut. My gut was telling me no matter how crazy I thought I was, there was something deeper to Drake than just a bald, bat-eared cat.

  Drake had been pushing me and doing a lot of bitching in the that weird, hoarse voice of his to get me to the secret room in my parent’s bedroom. Drake thought there was something in there I needed to see. Maybe all the answers about me and my twin were in that room.

  Tomorrow, I needed to focus all my efforts on that room. After breakfast, I was spending all day in that room and seeing what Drake had been trying to show me this entire time.

  Chapter 9

  I set the alarm and was up early. I wasn’t working until three in the morning anymore, so there was no reason I couldn’t start keeping normal, human hours anymore. I know most normal, human hours involved getting up much earlier, but I set my alarm for ten. Baby steps for now. I wasn’t used to my parent’s alarm. It started screeching at ten, and I bolted awake. I hadn’t set an alarm since high school.

  “Kill it with fire!” Lizzie shrieked, throwing her pillow at the alarm clock.

  I was planning on hitting the snooze button a few times, but now the alarm was on the floor well away from the bed. I wondered about that damned cat again when he scurried into my bedroom. I know I shut the door before bed this time. Drake gave me this scathing look and pressed a button. The alarm clock stopped screaming.

  Ten was late for most people, but it was early for me, even if I tried to go to bed early last night. I went to crash back into my pillow and landed in teeth and claws.

  “Drake!” I yelled, flying out of bed.

  He let out another one of those weird noises he liked to make and looked towards the sitting room. I put my hands on my hips and glared at him.

  “Can I eat first, asshole?”

  Jana must have heard the racket I was making. She stuck her head in the room.

  “Are you hungry Tabitha? Just to warn you, I saw how angry you got with Mattan. Drake will need his monthly bath soon. Unless he trusts you to do it, Mattan will need to come over.”

  I grinned at that shit head cat. A little payback was in order. “How about breakfast, then I try to give him his bath?”

  “He’s going to need extra care with his baths. He requires daily wipe downs with cat wipes. Mattan has been doing it, but the past two days have been skipped. You have to rub him down with coconut oil before the shampoo and take extra care with his toes and tail. The water needs to be just the right temperature, and you have to get him out of the water and into the towel quickly, so he doesn’t get sick. Since it’s winter, once he’s totally dry, he’s going to need his sweater.”

  I groaned. I’d never had a spa treatment in my life, and this damned cat was getting coconut oil massages. I’m sure whatever shampoo was in there didn’t come from the Dollar Store like mine did. And it was like he knew the word bath too because as soon as I said I was giving him one, he darted out the room and disappeared. And there were probably fifty million places to hide in this house not including all the secret rooms I didn’t know about.

  Jana saw me looking around for the damned cat. “Why don’t you eat first? Drake thinks he’s smart, but he always hides in the same place. Probably because it’s such a huge pain to drag him out of there and there’s a rug for him to dig his claws into. How about waffles for breakfast?”

  My experience with waffles involved pulling them out of a box from the freezer and sticking them in the toaster. I was guessing the waffles here didn’t come from a box that said Eggo on it and were probably covered in fresh fruit or chocolate or some shit. And I desperately wanted them. I loved those frozen waffles growing up, and I had to get up early to get one otherwise there would be an empty box. Lizzie would want to hear this because she loved those boxed waffles too.

  I used to do this to Lizzie when we were sixteen, and I managed to get to the kitchen before the stampede. I leaned next to her ear.

  “Waffles, Lizzie,” I said sweetly.

  She bolted to a sitting position like we were sixteen and going to have to fight someone for a frozen waffle again. Her hair was sticking up everywhere, and she looked ready to punch someone.

  “Jana’s making waffles,” I said, grinning.

  Jana was looking at us like we both had seven heads each. “If I’d known you girls liked them, I would have made them yesterday. How do you like them?”

  Lizzie groaned and rubbed her neck. “Without someone stealing mine out the toaster.”

  Jana finally realized what was going on. “How about with chocolate hazelnut, strawbe
rries, and whipped cream? We make Belgian waffles here.”

  “Oh, my god, that so makes up for giving Drake a bath,” I moaned, licking my lips.

  Jana disappeared, and Lizzie and I started getting dressed. “You’re really going to try to give him a bath?”

  “Everyone says he only likes family members. I know Mattan is a distant relative, but there’s just something about him that makes me want to stick my boot up his ass and kick him out the house. I’d rather try to do it myself before calling him.”

  Lizzie shrugged. She threw on an old pair of leggings and a t-shirt and pulled her hair into a ponytail. “I seem to be an exception to Drake’s family rule. Maybe if you can’t do it, he’ll let me.”

  “You really want to try after we found out he’s traumatized most of the groomers here that are used to bad animals?”

  “Drake’s not so bad. He seems to be intelligent and trying to show us things. Maybe he sensed something about the groomers. They say animals can sense things about people.”

  “Every groomer in Salem, though? Seems unlikely.”

  “Cats are weird. Before we met, I was in this foster family that had this cat. She would sit there and destroy a toilet paper roll if you left the bathroom door open.”

  “Well, Jana said she knows Drake’s hiding place, and it’s a bitch to get him out. I guess I’ll have to get over my thing and finally see his room. His hiding place is probably in there.”

  “Girl, you’ve got a lot of things you need to deal with. You haven’t even looked at your own fucking old room or your twin’s room. I’m betting that the door on the right leads to your room and the door to the foot of the bed leads to your twins. Or the other way around.”

  “Lizzie, do you want to bring up twenty-six years of fucked up or do you want to go eat waffles that didn’t come from the freezer and let me do this on my own time?”

  “Let’s go eat waffles, bitch. And you’re going to owe me big if I end up bathing Drake. He’s not neutered, and those little balls are gross.”